Marriage is a blood sport. Marriage is jousting. It's disembowelment. It's just terrible, terrible visceral injuries. It's not for everybody.

Aisha Tyler
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More Quotes By Aisha Tyler
  1. I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry. I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying...

  2. Success is not the absence of failure it's the persistence through failure.

  3. My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

  4. People challenge my nerd cred all the time. I just show them the photo of me winning my middle-school science fair, wearing my Casio calculator watch and eyeglasses so big they look like they can see the future.

  5. For a little while, my mom was a school teacher. And I went to the school that she taught.

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